“If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?”

“You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.”

“Dying is not romantic, and death is not a game which will soon be over... Death is not anything... death is not... It's the absence of presence, nothing more... the endless time of never coming back... a gap you can't see, and when the wind blows through it, it makes no sound...”

Death scares me. It frightens me to the point where I try not to think of it. Most of the time I don't. I just go about my day, laughing and smiling and joking. But then there are times where it'll just, come across my mind. I could be doing anything: driving to work, using the bathroom, about to go to sleep, and then it just clicks, as if there's someone in my brain watching tv and all they want to do is watch this channel. And I can never think about it for too long either, so usually the thoughts that do come to mind usually continue to sit there, and I'll think of them when I have nothing else to think about.

One main thought is what happens after death? What will we become? Do we go into a heaven-like abyss with the pearly gates sitting there and the gatekeeper going through the list of our sins and then either letting us pass through or telling us that we have sinned so much that we must now progress to the darkness of hell? Do we regenerate into the same human beings we were before, reliving our lives over and over and over in an endless loop? Do we get to be reborn as something else, depending on how our previous lives went and whether or not we were good enough? If I could have an answer to any of these questions, I'd be happy. And I'm also a bit tired of people saying "Well, I know what happens. We go up to heaven." But are they really sure? Does anyone honestly know what really happens when we die? I mean, if it's true that we go up to heaven, then why are there ghosts? Why are there so many other religions that don't believe in a heaven? Why is there no proof? Death is eternal, that's a definite. But what happens after death is what I'm trying to find out.

I just wish there was an answer. Any answer would be fine, as long as it has proof. I just, I want to ease my mind so that I know what happens to us after we perish. I want to know that what I did wasn't all in vain, and that there's something else out there. To think that we just sit and rot in the already decaying earth is a bit uneasy for my stomach to handle, but if that's the exact answer that I'm given, then I'll take it. But as I said, there has to be proof. Any nonsense in religious terms will be thrown out the window because I honestly don't want to hear it. You don't have proof, and using the bible as your proof would be like reading a Star Weekly magazine and believing that Lindsay Lohan broke up Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and is now dating her, just because a magazine said so.