Okay so, this has been a bother to me for basically years upon end. Ever since I've been a little girl, I've always wanted to understand WHY stores get ready for other holidays so early in the year. I mean, I can understand a month in advance. No use getting ready for Christmas two days before, ya know? But, when I started to work at Wal-Mart (about a week ago) they were already halfway through their Christmas season stuff. It's like, it's October. We haven't even gone through Halloween yet, and you're reminding me already that I need to buy these things for these people and get my Christmas cards? Half the people I send Christmas cards to don't get them anyway. :/

It just, it aggravates me more because it really does show how greedy our society is. They promote these holidays early in the year to make more money off of them. Companies promote their products early in the year, pushing and pushing and pushing sales, and the kids see something they want (like Rock Band 2, Guitar Hero: World Tour, Hannah Montana crap) and they beg and plead and tell mommy and daddy that they'll be good boys and girls and won't ask for anything else for Christmas. Yet, what always happens? They ask for MORE things. More presents. More products. Because companies come out with these products around the holiday season to get the parents to buy more and spend more money that they shouldn't be spending, but little Johnny and Susie want it.

I really want to know what happened to the simplicity of the holidays. Halloween used to be about cute costumes and trick-or-treating, with the simple contests of who has the better costume and who has the most candy. Now, it's all who threw the biggest party this year and who shelled out the most money to pay for the candy that's given out. You know, when I was little (which wasn't even that long ago), we had to go to at least 20 houses to get a lot of candy. I went trick-or-treating last year (yes, I still went even at 19), we only went to half my neighborhood, and my pillowcase was already half-full.

Though I sound a bit bitter, I do wish everyone a Happy Halloween, and if you took any pictures of you in your costume, be proud and show them around. I guarantee at least one person will like what you dressed up as (at work, I was a bunny with purple hair, at home I have an Alice in Wonderland costume which only Chris will see ;) ).

For most of my life, I've always made a decision based on the popular question: what if? Usually, whichever answer suits me better, I usually go for it. But lately, instead of asking myself the question towards future decisions, I've been asking myself the same question about things that have happened to me in the past. Things like: what if my mom and dad never got divorced? What if we never moved from Atlanta? What if mommy never broke up with Wayne? What if the car accident never happened? What if Andy never went into the Navy? What if Drew and I actually lived closer to each other? What if he had never met Jes? What if he had actually moved to Colorado instead of going into the army? What if I had never gone to WF? What if I had never had AOL? What if I had never started RPing (to know why these questions are relevant, you'll have to ask ;) )?

There are about a million other questions that I could ask myself and dwell on, but this actually brings me to the point of my post: what if I actually got an answer to all of these questions? What would happen if, like in Sabrina the Teenage Witch, we were each given a glass ball that allowed us to ask the "what if" questions? How would my life be? Would I like what I see in the glass ball and hate how my life is going now, or would I hate what happens in the glass ball and love how my life is going now?

The thing about dwelling on the past is, is that you can never be sure of the correct answer. Things might've happened a certain way that you disagree with, but you can't change it. I've learned this soooooo much in just the past year. Every choice you make will usually affect a choice you'll later make, so you HAVE TO MAKE SURE you make the right one at the time. :/ I know this paragraph seems a bit preachy, but meh. I'm 20. I've lived two decades. I know a thing or two about life. Probably not as much as my mom or my grandparents, but enough to know that you honestly need to pay attention to the choices and decisions you make.

I mean, would you rather do that, or dwell in your room for the rest of your life running the "what if" questions through your head?

I'm honestly getting tired of Xanga, no one really reads Myspace blogs anymore, and I can never keep up with a journal. I probably suck the most with being a girl, but eh, I never was one to keep "private" things well, private. So I'm basically going to use this blogger as well, my means to show my private things to the public. Whether it bores you or not, you're going to basically delve into my mind with me, whether it's the conscious or the subconscious you wish to enter is rather up to you, but for now, I think we'll just practice with the conscious.

I'm not exactly sure where I should begin, but as I don't exactly have much time left before I go to bed, I guess I'll just ramble on a random topic until I need to go.

I honestly have a rather large distaste for two things that Chris (for those that don't know, he's my boyfriend) does. The first one is the fact that whenever he's on the phone with his best friend Roger Smith, he always has to find something to nitpick. Usually it's my driving, or how I park, which honestly pissed me off today because I was parked completely straight in the parking spot at Wal-Mart earlier today, but he kept thinking I wasn't. It's rather annoying to have someone doubting you only because they're on the phone with someone else and trying to look like the "bigger person." My mother always did it, and now my boyfriend does it as well. I just, I want to choke him. It's why I usually stay silent whenever he's talking to Roger Smith on the phone, as I don't want to have something I say get nitpicked at.

The second thing is that, whenever we have a fight, he'll never let me finish what I have to say. For example, I still don't know my way around Mississippi (we've only been down here for two and a half weeks), and each time I miss a street that we're supposed to turn down or ask him if it's the right street, he yells at me. Then, when I try to defend myself by saying that I don't know Ocean Springs that well, he tries to end the argument by kissing me and hoping I feel better and am not mad at him anymore. The thing is, I'm still mad. And then he gets upset when I tell him that I'm still mad. Like a kiss is supposed to fix everything. That's like saying I'm sorry and hoping everything is fixed. It's not. It might be a step towards solving the problem, but it doesn't completely solve it.

I'd like to point out that I do overly use these emoticons: >>, <<, :D, :], ;], and ;). They also usually mean I'm either kidding, or I'm trying to push the fact that what I'm doing/saying is actually right and that everyone around me is obviously always wrong. ;]

Anyway, check back soon for more. I promise I'll try my hardest not to be too boring.